Positive Mental Health Strategy
photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash.com
Feeling triggered (flooded/activated)? I have found the following process to be a life saver for me when I am caught in an emotional tornado and mental hail storm, so I am offering it to you. This tool is effective once you are no longer in the middle of the circumstance that set you off, but have been ruminating about it and feeling its negative effects on your mood.
THE PROCESS
When you are ready to engage in introspection, go for a brief walk to allow yourself some space to feel safe — emotionally, physically, and mentally. Then find a private place with your journal, sit down and take a few slow deep breaths with your eyes downcast or closed. Consciously relax your body starting from your scalp, down through your eyes, jaws, neck, and shoulders, softening the area around your heart, and allowing your inhale to drop into your belly. This practice of self-calming and dropping into the present moment will aid you in accessing your inner wisdom.
Now journal on the following questions and reflections, taking your time to find the words that seem the most authentic for you:
What are you feeling? Consider starting the sentence with, “I felt _______when _____ happened.” Continue writing out your feelings until you have identified all the emotions that are apparent to you in this moment.
What is the story you are telling yourself about this situation?
Who are you condemning — yourself? someone else? circumstances?
What shoulds and should not’s do you notice in this narrative?
Whom are you judging?
What are some implicit beliefs that are driving this perspective?
Which motivational aim is dominant in you regarding this situation:
the need for security,
the need for esteem, or
the need for control?
What meaning are you assigning to this situation:
taking it personally,
projecting blame,
globalizing about your life (or the life of someone else)?
What obstacle to simple presence is dominant:
confusing the impermanent with the permanent,
pride,
attachment to the way things “should” be,
aversion to someone or something, and/or
fear?
Write a note to yourself validating your feelings and offering yourself a more objective perspective, without self-recrimination. Consider leading with something like, “Of course you feel this way. You wanted something different and now you have to deal with this . . . “ Validating your own feelings is an important part of the process because it facilitates you opening yourself to the Love within you and retracts the need to seek validation from others. Offering yourself an objective perspective helps you to withdraw judgment, which facilitates the arising of peace.
Now consider affirming, “This is an opportunity for me to show up as the highest version of myself.”
What do you need?
Perhaps you need to take action by practicing radical self-acceptance, acceptance of others, or acceptance of the things you cannot change; speaking your truth; forgiving yourself or others; setting a boundary; and/or releasing the need for things to be the way you want them to be, etc.
Perhaps drawing on a virtue or virtues is needed, such as courage, mercy, generosity, kindness, patience, equanimity, honesty, humility, non-attachment, or trust/faith, etc.
Now create an affirmation that expresses the truth that you have accessed as a result of your introspection, and write it down. This is a way of accessing and affirming your inner wisdom. Continue to repeat your affirmation throughout your day, and write it down as often as feels supportive to you. It is important that the affirmation you create reflects your truth, instead of something you hope will happen.
Notice, with gratitude, the resources and people that are present for you right now in your life and perhaps, the way someone showed up for you during this uncomfortable situation.
Close your practice by appreciating yourself for the intentional work that you are doing to mature and grow in awareness.
You are not alone.
For more information about this process, please refer to the following articles:
Dear friend,
May your mind be peaceful and calm,
may your body be relaxed and comfortable,
and may your heart be filled with love.
Thank you for reading.
Blessings and gratitude,
Ani
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